lookin4sprouts

Powerful words for a new year

2012-01-02T08:20:00.000-08:00

A new year, and with it comes a hunger for the new things He has waiting for us. This morning I wrote out a simple daily "confession", based on God's Word, that I want to teach my kids...and myself!!...to say everyday. Choosing to set our minds on what He says, and then using our words to declare His promises reaps a bountiful harvest. Our faith comes by hearing, so as we speak it out, our faith is built, and our lives are changed!! I know I continue to have areas that need "re-programming" with His Truth, and what a joy that His Word is powerful and mighty to save, able to renew and transform.

May we know more of Him this year...oh, how we need Him and how He longs to be gracious to us. The plans He has for you are filled with hope, and today He rejoices over you with sweet songs of delight!

Daily Confession 2012

This is the day the Lord has made and I WILL rejoice and be glad in it. God has done great things for me and I am filled with joy.

My God sits on the throne and is faithful and true. He is mighty over everything I will face today. I have authority over the enemy's schemes, by the power of Christ who lives in me. The Holy Spirit teaches me all things, and as I trust in Him, He leads me in the way I should go.

My body is healthy and strong, every part functioning just like it should. By Jesus' stripes I am healed, and I am able to do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

My mind is sound and alert, able to understand things easily, especially the word of God. I choose to think on things that are true, right and pure.

My heart is at peace today as I walk in the forgiveness and love of Jesus, and quickly show forgiveness and love to those around me. My God of hope fills me with all joy and peace, as I trust in Him.

Today, I choose to honor and trust in Jesus. He is aware of everything that concerns me, and has good plans in store for my life. He is my Savior, my Shield, my Help and my Friend. I live to know Him and make His glory known.

and after the battle...rest

2011-08-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

I have always been fascinated by the story in 2 Chronicles of King Jehosaphat. He and his people were being threatened with a disastrous attack and desperately cried out to the Lord, "We don't know what to do but our eyes are on you!" (been there... you?) You can read about how God used their praises to defeat the enemy here... Ambush of Praise.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I heard two different messages in a row that both talked about that very same passage. I got curious and started snooping around in 2 Chronicles, just wondering what other cool stories might be in that Old Testament book. I was blessed to find 3 different ones that all had this amazing pattern. Now mind you, I am NO Bible scholar. There are probably other similar stories that I missed, and other meanings that never struck me, but here is what blessed me so much about these 3....

a battle, a cry for help, victory, then rest

so a quick review of these stories...

2 Chronicles 14:7....King Asa had obediently removed high places of other gods and chosen to follow after the Lord. He says in verse 7, "Because we have sought the Lord our God; we sought him and he has given us rest on every side." Later in verse 11 he reminds the Lord in prayer, "There is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, O Lord our God, for we rely on you and in your name we have come against a vast army. O Lord, you are our God, do not let man prevail against You." Sure enough the Lord struck down the enemy and gave them the victory!

2 Chronicles 32 shows King Hezekiah also under attack. His response was to cry out for help, and the Lord sent an angel who annihilated the fighting men. The Lord saved Hezekiah and his people and verse 22 says, "He took care of them on every side".

Finally, the story of Jehoshaphat, my personal fav! After he cries out to the Lord for help, the Lord Himself sets ambushes against the enemy, while they are worshipping Him! And the chapter ends with this, "King J's kingdom was at peace, for his God had given him rest on every side!"

What an amazing pattern....so like our lives, huh?

The truth is, we all know what it's like to be in a battle, whether it's the daily battles of unmanageable schedules, traffic jams, not enough money, arguing kids, barking dogs, health concerns, family problems, difficult decisons, weather concerns... or maybe, most likely, the battle for each of us at times has been much deeper and much more painful.

I am sure there are many in a fierce battle this very day.
Some are exhausted from a battle that has continued for so long they can't imagine having the strength to face another day of it.
Clinging weakly to a promise and asking for the fresh hope to wait patiently for the victory.

Who doesn't know what it's like to face a situation with no earthly idea what to do, except to humbly cry out to the One who does. I've heard it said, you are either coming out of a trial/battle, or in one right now, or heading into one soon. It is the real life we live here on planet Earth, and God in His grace and wisdom allows these times to strengthen our faith in Him. How else do we learn that He will answer us? How do we understand Him as our Healer, our Peace, our Victor? And I love that His Word is clear that our cries are dear to God's heart. He tells us when we cry out, He WILL answer. He keeps our every prayer in bowls it says in Revelation. Every word spoken, every heart cry, every tear...stored up and held precious.

Finally, the victory and the rest. Yes, sometimes the victory comes because we have finally given up something we have held too close, or because we choose to obey something God already asked of us.
But, the rest, when it comes, is sweet. The "knowing" that God showed up, carried you through, comforted your hurting heart, brought good, allowed growth, and now has given you rest. I love that God is in every detail concerning our hearts, so it's not just rest, but it says "rest on every side". As though He is saying, "Everything covered here, no detail missed...you can lay down now and rest my child, the battle has been won. My purposes fulfilled. Your prayers answered. Rest."

My prayer for those in a battle today...God is in control. The battle will not rage one day longer than He allows. He is a trustworthy God, faithful to the end, fighting on your behalf, working all things together for His intended good. There will be victory...even when that looks different than we thought it might... our God is a God of victory! He has never lost a battle! Jehovah Nissi. So hold fast and do not give up. Keep your eyes on things above in this battle, your God will have His way!
And after the victory, then He will give you rest. His beautiful rest...on every side!

a gentle reminder to trust

2011-08-15T03:47:00.000-07:00

So, recently I listened to a message about trusting God...seems to be a theme I need reminded of often. The speaker challenged the group at the end by saying, What would God say to you today about the season of life that you're in?
This is my letter that I wrote out quickly in my journal, just a few thoughts on what God may be whispering over my heart in this season, and I thought I'd share. (Just in case I'm not the only one who needs to be reminded of Who He is, and how trustworthy and faithful He remains!)

Dear Child,
Though you cannot always see, you can trust Me.
Though easy answers haven't come, you can trust Me.
Though some things appear out of my domain, as if I'm not in control, trust Me. Nothing is out of my sovereign control, nothing.
Your faith is worth more than gold to me, and I am answering your very own prayer to have more of Me, to have my purposes fulfilled in you, and to become a radiant reflection of my beauty.
I have good in store for you, trust me in this even when your thoughts and fears say that maybe I don't, or maybe I won't. Trust Me.
My plans for you are abundantly above and beyond what you could ask or imagine.
So even when your human eyes can't possibly see how I am able, or how something bad could be good, trust Me. I am at work. I AM.
Trust me today for the strength and grace and mercy you need.
Tomorrow... trust me again.
I am for you.
With unfailing love, your Heavenly Father

cute and cheap decorating makes me happy!!

2011-02-26T07:31:00.000-08:00

The other day I saw some pretty glass vases in the Pottery Barn magazine...expensive, but pretty! They looked so fresh, so welcoming of Spring time...and just about anything can go in them and look great!

So I found a few small glass jars and vases at Good Will that were cute and very cheap. I grouped them together with a few glass jars I already had, added a bag of green and beige balls, nuts, and sprigs that came in a bag from the Dollar Store, threw in a few outdoor twigs... and VOILA!....a fresh and fun decorating change for very little money! Happy day!

Ambush of praise!

2011-02-12T08:47:00.000-08:00

I love, love, LOVE the powerful truths from this story out of 2 Chronicles 20. God brought this passage clearly to mind this week in relation to a new friend's situation that from all outward appearances, seems impossible. (Good thing nothing is impossible with Him!)

So, in a nutshell the story goes like this. Jehoshaphat gets news that a huge army is coming against his people, like.... on their way, a disaster in the making, run for your lives kinda thing!

I am amazed and challenged at his first response to this news....he resolved to inquire of the Lord. I know for me when I am faced with a difficult situation, my first resolve may be to inquire of my own understanding....to figure it out by myself. Then, I may inquire of a friend's understanding...to ask them to help me to figure it out. Don't get me wrong....God gives us wisdom and He does use friends to speak truth. But, the first place we should turn to is Him.

Next, Jehoshaphat declared out loud for all to hear this prayer, "You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you! We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you!"

Ever been there? Are you there today? Lord, we don't have a clue how to solve this problem. To climb this mountain. To heal this hurt. To mend this relationship. To fight this battle. To help this child. To be set free. To find relief from this pain. To find joy again. To have hope... but our eyes are upon you, Lord.

Sometimes it is in the humblest and simplest of requests that the gates of grace and mercy open up and reign down on our need.

Okay, so now is when this story gets good. really good. As they prepare for the battle, they are reminding themselves and speaking out TRUTH. Not the truth of their reality and circumstances, but the TRUTH of who He is in the midst of their moment.

Things like, "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. The battle is not yours, but God's. Do NOT be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you. Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld."

I know that sometimes our greatest battle is the one that goes on in our hearts and minds. Battling back and forth between what His Word says is true and what our hearts really believe is true based on the old ruts of our unhealthy thinking. Unfortunately for me, there are days when my own fear wins the battle. I look at my self and my circumstances and choose to believe my story..the one I've told myself a million times.....about who I am, my circumstances, my limitations, my fears etc.

But, God wants me to speak out and believe His story....the one He is writing about me. The way that He sees me, my strengths, my weaknesses that He will use, the purpose for my life, His unfailing love, kindnesses and mercies new every morning. That He is a God who sees and promises to show up, give grace and wisdom and help in time of need!

So, here's the amazing conclusion to Jehoshaphat's battle. He appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise Him for the splendor of His holiness as they went out ahead of the army....giving thanks to the Lord as they marched. Choosing to believe He would show up for them in might and power.

And as they began to sing and praise....THE LORD SET AMBUSHES against the enemy. Did you read that??? The Lord took their praise and worship and used it against the enemy's purpose. They didn't fight, or struggle, or wrestle for the victory...the praises brought the deliverance. Our praise and shouts of WHO HE IS...can be used to defeat the enemy's attempt to discourage and overwhelm us with whatever we are facing.

Listen, I've seen and heard way too many things lately that confirm we are all in some kind of battle. Yours may look different than mine...but the battle is just as intense. Some of you may be at the place today of saying, "Honestly, Lord, we have no idea what to do next. It's pretty much hopeless, Lord, if you don't show up!"

My encouragement to your heart....Pull out your weapons! Speak to your own heart, speak it out loud to those around you about Who He is. His power. His ability. His strength and might and glory and power. Put on your praise music in your car, your home, your children's rooms and claim the victory over your circumstance!

Believe His story...that He can take things that are awful and use them for good. That He shows up for us in our weakest moments. That His Spirit is a salve that can mend much hurt. That our focus on Him can be the very thing that defeats the enemy's attack against us.

Set an ambush today against the things the enemy has used to bring discouragement, depression, fear, hopelessness, despair, pain and heartache by praising the One who was and is and is to come!

Sing His story, choose His truth, and sing it loud against your battle!! Then, rejoice and rest in knowing that the battle is not yours, it belongs to the Lord! Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged....have faith in the Lord, and you will be upheld.

She once was lost...but now has been found!

2011-01-07T03:31:00.000-08:00

With my sister's permission, I want to share just a hint of what I have seen the Lord doing in her life. My words here will be few, but her words will tell much more about her journey.

http://karalynnnichols.blogspot.com

Amazing. Miraculous. Life changing..literally. Worth the read!

A few weeks back Kara shared with me that she had found Christ. Just like that..."I thought I was, but realized I wasn't, and now I am." After a life of not understanding His thoughts towards her, or His healing forgiveness, or His beautiful purposes set apart just for her...He captured her heart.

Truth be told, the journey for her has had pain, been difficult and at times even hopeless. But God. The One who would not let her go. The One who loved her enough to use her life circumstances to be the very thing that would open her eyes to His life giving truth. The One who led and arranged and worked and called and softened and allowed the things of this life, which are but a moment, to make sure she would be with Him in eternity...that is a forever love story for sure.

So I stand amazed and rejoice. The book of Luke talks about the shepherd rejoicing over the one sheep that was lost and then found. And, the woman who lost her coin and found it...then threw a party and celebrated with her friends. God says the angels rejoice over the one sinner who has come to repentance. I am filled with such awe and gratitude and wonder at His amazing grace.

Oh, and I see Him in her. I see a peace that is different. A hope and a freedom that only He can give. A hunger for His word. It is a beautiful sight, full of fragrance that is a delight to the soul. I hear His words coming from her heart, now filled with rich soil planted by Him. He has such amazing plans for her life...for everyone who is yielded to His good and perfect will.

Kara...you go girl. Run with abandon after the One who is holding you tight. He looks so good on you! I love you...my sweet sister...and now my forever sister in Christ!
http://karalynnnichols.blogspot.com

got water?

2010-12-27T06:13:00.000-08:00

I'm just sayin...I feel thirsty. My spirit feels a little dry. Like after being in a desert for several weeks, with only little drops to drink along the way. I am parched...needing the washing of the water of the WORD, as Ephesians says.

See, I have lived on sips for the month of December! With all the busyness of what had to be done, places we had to be, and fun we just had to have! But along the way only sipping little bits of His Word here and there, always being distracted by what called my name for the day, ...wrapping, shopping, decorating, baking, singing, laughing, talking, scurrying, and of course, just enjoying the season.

So now I find myself longing for the filling up of what only He can give me. A drink that satisfies and refreshes a parched and "too busy" soul, in need of some sweet refreshment. Jesus Himself says, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to ME and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within Him."

I need His streams to fill me up this week, so that I can have sweet waters to pour out on those around me. Something that is refreshing and lovely, not stale and dry. Trust me when I say, that without His sweet waters, I got some stale and dry people... let's just be real! You too?

Take a moment today...whether you are returning all that didn't fit, or dragging that dead tree out to the curb....and fill up with a drink that will truly satisfy your deepest needs and driest places and bring sweet refreshment to your soul!

Jesus....the one drink that truly satisfies.

peace, joy and hope..not at wal mart, people!

2010-12-14T04:09:00.000-08:00

I was buying some Christmas plates at Wal Mart the other day that read Joy, Peace and Hope, and as I stood at the register, I watched the prices ring up on the screen. "joy", "peace", "hope"...$3.00.

It got me thinking on the way home. How many people desperately wish everyday that they could go to a store and pick these gifts up? I know I have had many times in my life when I would have given my last dime to buy a little peace, joy and hope.

You know the lines would be out the door.
"I'll take some joy please....because truth be told, my heart feels very flat lately. laughter is hard to come by. everywhere i look, it looks a mess. i'm tired of pretending."

"Do you have any hope left? I need some quick. I am sinking in a hole of despair. depression. pain. I am sure that things can't possibly change for me, for others, for the hurt we have carried! I'll take even a small glimmer please...I just need something to hold on to. "

"Peace?? I'll take all you have. I am stressed out, desperately dry, too busy to see straight, angry and tired....and it's Christmas for heaven's sakes!!"

The truth of the matter is this. Though I do love me a good Wal Mart with all their varied selections, they can't supply what our hearts need most desperately. Only God has that, in a store that is never on backorder.

I find it interesting that often in my own life I keep waiting for God to remove the circumstance that is so difficult....so I can have peace. Or, take away the pain of that relationship....so I can have joy. And, change that desperately needy situation...so I can finally have some hope!

Actually, God allows our circumstances to be difficult, purposefully difficult, so He can be the Calm in our storm. How do we appreciate His calm, without knowing the fear of the storm? We want peace in our trial, and we think that means waiting until the trial is over. God says, I am Peace...a Peace that passes your understanding. You can have My peace right now, in the midst.

He promises that we can have abundant joy...full and overflowing. Bubbling over. Not because all is well all around us, but because of Who He is inside of us. His joy is real! When we remind ourselves that this temporary life, with all of it's painful moments, is but a vapor...our fullness of joy comes from knowing that this is not all there is. Our Home awaits...a Home with no more pain, no more crying.

How about hope? I am pretty sure this is the one that would sell out the soonest. For there is not one of us who doesn't carry a desperate need that needs the breath of His hope to remind our hearts that He sees, He is at work, He can be trusted, He is able, His promises are true, and nothing is impossible for Him. God's hope is the only real hope there is and He will never say to your situation...Wow, I'm not sure about that one? He is HOPE...no matter what.

So, in the busyness of a season frantic with shopping, parties, presents, all on top of the stuff we were already dealing with....go to the One who can offer you true joy, abundant and sweet. true peace...so that your hearts will not be troubled. true hope...He is aware of what concerns you today.

Romans 15:13, "May the GOD OF HOPE fill you with all JOY and PEACE, as you trust in Him..may you overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Jesus!

2010-12-07T04:11:00.000-08:00

So I can rarely find anything that says JESUS this time of year, the whole sweet reason we celebrate! I finally made big red glitter letters and spelled out His wonderful name to hang across our doors like garland, cuz I mean He is the centerpiece of it all...this season, every season.

"Take a good hard look at Jesus. HE's the centerpiece of everything we believe, faithful in everything God gave Him to do." (Heb.3 in the Message)

How can you proclaim His beautiful name this time of year? In your home, in your words, in your heart? He is the Reason...

an amazing life....

2010-11-02T16:11:00.000-07:00

So, I went to see Thomas Jefferson's home, Monticello. It was beautiful to see the grounds and his house, his books, his creative inventions. But I must say that Thomas didn't really capture my attention as much as this grave stone I noticed walking past the old family graveyard.

"She went about doing good and set at liberty them that are bruised."

What a summary of this woman's life! Oh, I could only pray for such a conclusion of mine.

See, what I know, what I am learning more and more as I continue this journey called life, is that there are bruises all around us, in the people we see everyday. It is a fact of living in this fallen world that is filled with stress, pain, struggles, fear, sickness, death.

The truth is this, Christ is freedom...there is no liberty to be found apart from Him, so this woman must have known Him, must have known His powerful word. James 1:25 talks about the Word being the perfect law that gives freedom! She surely must have known this along with His tender love, and His cleansing forgiveness, because you cannot extend to others what you know nothing about.

She also must have had some bruises. Is anyone exempt from that? The Word tells us that we are given comfort so that we have comfort to give. I think a bruise recognizes a bruise. Our bruisings and hurts give us a keen discernment to the ones found in those around us. We recognize the despair of a situation and extend freedom and hope by saying, "I've been there, He helped me, He can help you too."

This I know to be true...on my own, I got nothing good to extend to anyone. Wrong sized bandages. Expired ointment. Missing gauze. Queasy stomach. I myself cannot offer liberty to anyone, but I can help love them in their wounds, and lead them to the One who has the salve that can heal their bruisings.

Lord, by your amazing grace alone, help me have your eyes to see the bruises in those around me. To care enough to ask, and pray, and love, and listen, and help when I can...but mostly to extend to others the Truth and Freedom and Grace and Hope found in You alone.

I wonder if the lady with this gravestone knew. You know, knew that she was known for loving people like that. Or maybe she just knew lots about bruises, found a soft and sweet freedom in the One with the salve, and spent the rest of her days pouring that out onto those around her. what a life indeed.

missing boots...big reward, what not to put on your new year's list, and a pitiful pit!

2009-12-26T06:39:00.001-08:00

So I might have had just a little pride in thinking I was the kind of girl that always pulls herself up by my boot straps. You know..keep on going, rejoice in the Lord, put on the happy face, deal, stuff it down, do what's right, say what's Godly, live holy, and move forward. oh, and be perfect too.

This year for me has been a personal journey of the painful awareness that all of that has been a sham. a joke. living in my own strength, yeah right! and it's landed me tottering over an edge right into a pit, mostly a pit of fear. A pit that I've known was there, because I've felt the cold mud in my toes more than a time or two, but in my own strength have tried to cling to the top, elbows on the edge, trying to breathe deeply of the fresh air my lungs so longed for.

And, I don't mind sharing what will not be on my new years list, because it's what I prayed for in Dec. of 2009...and trust me when I say, lesson learned! I asked the Lord to go deep, give me more, transform me to look more like Him. and I think I envisioned some sort of a glowing light and peaceful moments, maybe even angels singing in the background, joyfully growing in Him, while leading numerous women's Bible studies. not hardly!! In fact, I have said to the Lord these very words, "DEEP ENOUGH!!" and yesterday I declared that my new resolution this year is that I just want to be fake and pretty! ha

In truth, I know that God knows my heart's desire for more of Him and less of me, and more importantly His own perfect desire for my life, whether or not I put it on my new year's list.

And, I pray that I am learning to trust Him more in this season, in this process. That indeed He is making me look more like His Son. That I will come forth as gold, not by any doing of my own, but because HE promises it. That He will use all things together and work them for my good. That good might look different than I thought. That the path may be hard to walk, but He promises to broaden the path beneath me so that my ankles do not turn! That it's not about me or anything I can muster up, it's all about Him.

And really, that He has hidden my boots on purpose!... it's part of Him going deeper, revealing all the things that I claim and cling to and proclaim from a place of true desire but not daily reality. He is allowing this season which has been filled with many more questions than answers, insecurity, uncertainty, unsettledness, and fear...because of His great love for me.

Because if He allowed me to keep thinking that I can pull these straps up, figure it out in my own understanding, walk in my own strength, always striving to do more, please more, be more, smile more,...I lose. Eventually the straps will snap...or I would..or maybe I already did. And, the glory of the Lord is missed in our lives when we don't acknowledge the empty places and weaknesses that desperately need His filling and strength.

Yes, it is in my places of weakness that I find His glorious strength. That has always sounded good, but I don't know about that fully yet, but I think it's on His list for my new year. Grace made perfect in weakness?... don't really know about that yet either, but I know its on His list for my life in Christ. Joy in His presence not based on any circumstance...don't know enough about that, but want to and He wants me to as well. True freedom in Christ, in every area...on His list too. Some of these things may be on His list for me for the rest of the days I'm here on this earth, because it will be from glory to glory that we will be transformed.

Many months ago as I was falling asleep, I talked to the Lord about my pit, often one filled with fear....and at that time I hadn't even fallen in yet. I told Him that I feel like I live on the side of the wall, aware of the muddy bottom, but most moments able to keep my head and shoulders above the edge, trying to enjoy the daily view, but with arms feeling tired and starting to shake. And wouldn't you know it, the next morning when I opened my Word, I turned exactly to Psalm 40... "I cried out to the Lord, and He heard my cry. And, He turned and answered me, HE LIFTED ME out of the slimy pit. wow.

I wasn't meant to climb out of the pit, boots strapped on, strong arms clawing myself out...wasn't meant to, and clearly not able to either. And, neither am I meant to live clinging to the side of the wall either, fearing the fall....but longing for the fresh air of the surface. So, in His time, I know He will lift me out. He will lift me out!... His doing, His strength, His ways.

So, let me be clear....I still have many days where I'm desperately looking under beds and behind the couch for my stinking boots! Cuz it's what I know to do. Show me the problem, I'll work to fix it. Show me the straps, so I can pull them up and just deal, be on my way, change this because I hate this place!... but truth be told, those old boots weren't made for walking (oh, you know you are thinking that is so good!)

Yes, my feet feel cold, barefooted for sure as I'm still clearly in "a" season, but I am hopeful. That He is shaping a pair for me that will fit just right. That my boots and me will be beautiful in His time, that they will be the perfect fit. That they will allow me to walk on the heights, and maybe even walk alongside someone else in the depths and hold their hand and offer His hope. To walk according to His Word, and walk humbly with my Lord. He is shaping them for me even now...and He is lovingly shaping me.

And, that is amazing grace, unfailing love at it's best..that He doesn't allow any of us to remain the same, but lovingly removes all the things we cling to, that He purposefully "goes deeper" and reveals all that really keep us from running in His fields of grace, breathing deeply of the Spirit's sweet abundance! ahhhhh.

boots and a pit and new year's resolutions...well clearly you see how they could all be in the same post right? :)

the God Who sees me...Who sees you

2009-06-02T05:30:00.000-07:00

Remember the story in the Bible where Sarai, Abram's wife couldn't have children, though she desperately wanted them. So, one day she said to her husband..."Go sleep with Hagar, maybe we can have a family through her." The Bible says, Abram agreed. I BET HE DID!! I mean, seriously, I can imagine him saying, "Well, honey if you insist!"

So, Hagar became pregnant and eventually the relationship between her and Sarai became so strained, so ugly, such bitterness and anger that Hagar ran away into the desert.

In the desert.... alone. mistreated. broken. hurting. needy. Ever been there?

And, then the Lord. An angel of the Lord showed up to minister to her needs. Her very specific needs for that very specific moment. And Hagar gave this name to the Lord who had spoken to her,

"You are the God Who sees me"

Oh, is that so good. You are the God who sees what I am going through! Who sees and knows exactly what I need at this moment. The God Who is at work to provide a way for me through this desert. Who promises to walk beside, to be an ever present help in time of need.

What is your place of need today? God sees. Even in the deepest places of brokeness, hurt, fear, uncertainty, tiredness...He sees. He is your Provider, Deliverer, Stronghold, Peace. Speak out to Him today those things that He has promised to be for you, and watch for the sweet ways He wants to minister to you.

Ed u ka shun at it's BEST!

2009-05-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

Thought I would share a fine home schooling moment, the kind of one that just makes a mama so proud!!!

As Levi was taking the language section of his test...he had to pick the word that best fit into the sentence. It was something like this...

Last week you ______ to the park.

went

will go

goed

I couldn't believe it when I watched my son mark the answer "goed". GOED?????? Seriously, I had to turn my head to keep control from just busting right out laughing.

After the test was over I was like, Son? Goed? I said, "you better Goed to your room now, cuz your gittin a spankin with that kind a ant-sir!!"

(Just kidding about that...but we did have a good chuckle over it.)

But hey, you know, you can't get them all right, all the time!!! :)

Letter from our lives...Part Two...known, painful, trusting still!

2009-04-14T03:34:00.001-07:00

Hi Friends-

For all of you who have prayed for us over the last week, thank you. I can honestly tell you that God has faithfully walked us through this time and kept us focused on Him. Praying for one another is such a privilege, and I am genuinely humbled for those that have lifted us up during our uncertain times this last week.

Anyway, this morning we heard that the head coaching job at LU had gone to someone else. It came as quite a surprise, as many things had seemed to line up in Brad's favor. We clearly have disappointment for what looked like a wonderful opportunity and possible "God" thing. However, we are resting in the One who has it all in His hands, all the details, the unknown, the hard and the good.

Isaiah 33:6 says,

He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.

Here's the good news for those of us who believe....our foundation doesn't change. It is sure, it is firm. He is steadfast and trustworthy, and faithful and sovereign.

And, our lives are not tossed about in boats made by mankind, but float securely in the hands of the One who holds the ocean!!! ( this thought occurred to me at Sam's today! )

A rich store house means that His goods don't run out! You won't go to His store and see a sign, "Sold Out of peace, or joy, or hope... come back tomorrow." His blessings are always available for us, for every moment, every need, every time we ask. Rich, full, beautiful supply.

This verse also caught my eye today...

2 Cor. 2:14

But thanks be to God who always LEADS us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him.

So, even in the apparent "loss" of this job we had prayed may be His will....we can trust that He will lead us in triumph, through Christ! He will!!

And, just maybe in the midst of where He leads us, by His grace, we will be a beautiful fragrance to those we come across and spread to them the knowledge of Him. What could be a more wonderful privilege than to "smell" like Him to others,...His goodness, love, kindness, grace, peace. In the midst of the turmoil of the very world we live in, we desperately need some sweet smelling fragrance. Pray that for me, I'll pray that for you! :)

As far as the details, we don't know a lot. Brad and I are still blessed and grateful that God has provided an open door to continue serving along side of Ritchie and Julie in a position at Univ. of VA. So today we walk forward by faith in Him and not necessarily by sight, watching for the plan to unfold. :)

Blessings and love to all,

Kendra

Letter from our lives...Part One...unknown, hopeful, trusting!

2009-04-14T03:32:00.000-07:00

Hi friends-

Well, as I woke up this morning, I felt led to share a few things about where we are in our lives. I have thought maybe I should wait until we actually know more about what we are actually doing, but decided to share even in the midst of our great unknown. Of course, many of you know what's going on here at LU, but some who live away may not have a clue, so to start I will give the brief version of the story. Listen, get over it now if this turns into my next book, just read and be happy about it!!! :)

To begin with, Ritchie and Julie are leaving Liberty to go up to Charlottesville to serve the new head coach there at UVA. Many do not understand his decision, as it is leaving a head job to be an assistant. We understand because we know their hearts after 14 years of serving with them along this path and know that their deepest desire is to bring glory to their Savior. We have together sought Him for peace, direction and what He might be up to in all of this. We have watched the Lord answer them, and as difficult and painful as it is for them to say good bye to a place they truly love, they are willing to answer and step out in faith. Please lift them up in this new opportunity that God has put before them.

In the process of the call He has for them, God has also provided for us a position at UVA. We are so grateful for that opportunity, esp. in the midst of a job crisis and the craziness of coaching! Needless to say, the last 4 days have been filled with the ups and downs of big change, emotional moments and the feelings that come with the unknown. Either way for us, our lives we know now and have known for 14 years will change. There is much heartache in that, mixed in with the hope of what is to come.

So, we are asking the Lord, what do you have for us in this?? Is UVA the open door you have for us? Wanting to yield, to be willing, to be open and have a listening heart. Not wanting to be a toe print outside of His good will for us! I can honestly tell you from the depths of my heart, that is the most important thing to me, to Brad...Lord, what is Your purpose and will in this? Our greatest joy will come from following His plan for us.

So, 2 mornings ago, after a night of too many questions, fear, wrestling with the "details" of how our lives were about to change..I woke up to have my time with the One who knows it all and says, "Come into my Presence to be reminded of my goodness and faithfulness to you"!

I read daily from a book by Ruth Meyers called the 31 Days of Praise. If you don't have it, seriously it will change your heart towards Him. Anyway, I sluggishly opened up the book, just hoping that I would be released from the yuck that followed me down the stairs to my chair.

Day 17 was the day I was on, so I opened and read. I will type out some excerpts from it....

Thank you that you have me in the place You want me just now... You've worked all things into Your plan to draw me to Yourself, to mold and bless me, and to bless others through me. THank you that even if I'm here through the ill will or poor judgement of other people, (not the case for us) All is well, for in Your Sovereign wisdom, You are at work to bring about good results from all those past decisions, past events beyond my control, good results both for me and for others. I'm glad Lord that You are the same today, well able to work things out for us, to turn evil into good. I stand amazed at the complexity and mystery of Your wisdom. How safe it is for me to trust Your reasons for acting ( or not acting) and Your methods of working!

Thank you that I can safely commit my location and situation to You!! ( I promise it said location!! :)) I can be "willing for You to shift me anywhere on life's checkerboard, or bury me anywhere in life's garden, gladly yielding myself for You to please Yourself with, anywhere and anyway You choose." Thank You that I can trust You with my future places...ready to go, ready to stay!!

Is God so good or what? Ready to go, ready to stay?? Seriously. Such a timely and specific word for my weary and worrisome heart. I called Julie right away and we both praised Him for His goodness.

So for today, we are asking the Lord if staying at LU is a possibility. If Brad could be hired here and take over as a head coach? He has said that he would love to serve in that role, to be able to continue what the Lord as begun here with these players. However, in the natural realm it would be quite unlikely! There will be many other head coaches now who will call to be interviewed.

Brad has served as an assistant for 14 years, so doesn't have the "head" coach experience, although I have no doubt that God has equipped my husband with amazing gifts of serving others, great leadership, integrity, passion for players and their growth, and a heart that is sold out to please the Lord and bring Him glory. The players want him to stay and he has been blessed with the calls of support from others.

I say all of this to say....with my God, nothing is impossible and He is the Sovereign One who's plans cannot be thwarted. What a peace we have in knowing that. IF that is His plan for our lives, He will open the door, whether or not it's "likely". He's got it. He is in control. When I woke up this morning, He was just as faithful as He has been to us all along. He has heard our cry for an answer, and we will rejoice whatever that answer is because He is trustworthy. I can rest in the fact that He is on duty, alert to every detail, working even now!! Praise the Lord!

Please pray for us during this time of uncertainty. Please pray His will be done. Please ask the Lord to keep our eyes and hearts on Him. Our ears open to His still, small voice...He is so good.

We are hoping to leave for MI this afternoon, and will be gone until next Wed.

Love to you,

Kendra

(phew...take a break...you deserve it if you read all the way to the end of this thing!!)

Got paint??

2009-03-13T07:59:00.001-07:00

Last weekend we had a few very sunny days and it just got me so excited for springtime. To get outside and do yard work, spruce things up a bit you know. It also got me excited to do something in my house. Do you ever get that feeling when you just want to do SOME thing? Clean, or move furniture, or paint or decorate???

Of course with a "limited with a capital L" budget,...I am always excited to find something to do for cheap.

So, I found this cute idea to make a plaque for my front door. It was pretty easy to do, and this link will tell you the step by step directions that I followed. http://pinkandpolkadot.blogspot.com/2008/10/eat-crow.html

My house is black and white with a red door, so this plaque is just perfect. I also have wanted to re paint a small kid's rocker that I had sitting on my porch. So, I used the red from the door and it looks so cute. The plaque and the rocking chair have just spruced up my front porch a little bit! A few cheap and fresh touch ups...love that!!

Love is....or is not

2009-02-23T17:35:00.000-08:00

So here is something I am learning this week, something tumbling around in my mind, leading me to learn and yield. And, you know when I'm learning something I have to share it in hopes that someone else will be encouraged as well. It's just a weakness I have. :)
Right now the verse I am learning with my kids is I Cor. 13:4-8a....oh, the so familiar love chapter. Isn't that only for Valentine's day??

Interestingly enough as we have reviewed that verse together, and I have used it to "remind" them of behavior issues, the Lord has so used it to "remind" me of areas where I have so failed the test of His love in my life.

Two things have waved a huge red flag at me as we have studied these verses! The first thing that has stuck out to me is "love is not self seeking." I have said several times to my kids this week, "That is really being self- seeking, isn't it? Thinking of yourself, selfish gain, self focus, self worry, self thought.....and as I recognize that in my kids, I realize that so much of what I do could be self seeking, and not seeking of other's best interests. The interest of my Savior, my husband, my kids, my friends....Ouch.

When I start serving myself, or just plain think about myself too much, my plans, my hurts, my feelings, my wants...that is my first warning sign that I am off track with the Holy Spirit!

Another part of that section of scripture says, "Love is not easily angered." How often do I get impatient and frustrated with my children's behavior during the day? Giving them a poor example of kindness, patience and true love, instead of allowing His love to flow out of my heart. Then, I see the same words and frustrations coming out of them and wonder why?

Paul says it so wonderfully in Romans....the things I want to do, I don't do! The things I don't want to do, I do!! Oh, who can save me from this body of death, thanks be to Jesus Christ!!! We can be transformed and renewed in our minds. We can be led by the Spirit and say no to the flesh that rises up. We can allow His power to flow through us which gives us the courage and ability to obey Him and follow hard after His heart. We can, because His Word says we can!

So, for today, another Monday morning already scheduled with much to do....may I yield to the Lord and ask Him to fill me up this morning with His love. To lay aside selfish gain, or selfish focus, and choose to focus on others. To check my heart throughout the day and say, What is my attitude towards others? Filled with love and grace, and His heart for them? Or, just watching for how my needs can be met or my wants fulfilled? Am I allowing His words to speak life to those around me, or are my words tearing down and causing discouragement with my own frustration?

Thanks be to God, as we ask Him and seek Him first today, He will provide what we need to walk in His kind of love...perfect in every way!
Let's pray for one another on this journey of wanting to look more like our Saviour everyday! Encouraging and spurring one another on to love and good works!

New Year...fresh start!

2008-12-30T05:43:00.001-08:00

A friend asked me what my resolutions were, you know things I want to do better or different in this new year.

Well, this is what I want in 2009....more of Him, less of me!! More of His Spirit, daily empowering me to live His way.

Less of the self centered and fearful and prideful me, more depth of Trusting in His ways and words. Believing Him more, being renewed and transformed in my mind, being washed in the water of His word.

in the daily....I want to know how to pray. Reading a book right now by Andrew Murray (1800's)....sooooooo powerful...about learning how to pray. Being a true intercessor, of power and of expecting results through faith. Teach me to pray this year, Lord! Your kingdom come, through my prayer, on earth as it is in heaven.

in the daily...eat less food, better food. not think about food so much. You know, just careless eating and sometimes purposeful eating to feel better. Being filled up with Him. Putting into practice that which I know in my head, but have long since walked out. eating better, feeling better.

in the daily....being home more to be a homemaker. I am so easily distracted and caught up in doing. running to target. busy. and then my house explodes...and I am stressed. I want to manage my life better in the daily. laundry, good meals for family, being available for my kids, time to sit and chat. not distracted. I have to choose to be home more (saying no to things i WANT to do!!)... in order to do these things. Fighting the flesh of wanting to go, be somewhere else...and choose to be home. Seeking Him for what I am supposed to be involved in...can't do it all, Lord, what do you want me to do??

in the daily....exercise. so i have a stress release in my life. so i feel better. and maybe squeeze into my jeans that lately have been looking at me funny when i pull them out of the drawer, shaking their head and saying, "nice try"!!! To take better care of my temple.

in the daily....more consistent discipline with homeschool. It's hard to not feel like I am not doing all that I could/should be doing. Most home school moms struggle with this feeling.

Like other things, the things that are temporary distract me from that which is eternal and most important!!

in the daily...loving my husband with the love of the Father. Seeing my role in his life as a true help mate. and sacrificing to make that happen. And, watching God raise him up to all that He has for him to be!

in the daily....the Lord gave me a specific phrase a few months back that I want to live out better this year.

"Invest deeply in the lives of others, with a grateful heart and without fear, expectations, or control" These last 3 things can quickly steal the joy and true love of loving others well. By God's grace.

just a few things that come to mind....how about you??

'Cuz I know I'm not the only one....

2008-12-02T17:46:00.001-08:00

It's not unusual on those busy, rush around to get it all done, piles of laundry waiting to be folded...piles more waiting to be washed kind of weeks....that I end up wearing a pair of socks like this. Mis-matched. But matching with my week. So, I took a picture of my feet this morning, wearing the socks that I found in my drawer last night.

'Cuz I know I'm not the only one who has ever done that. :)

Drooling and a dabbing!

2008-10-01T13:06:00.001-07:00

Okay, so it happens to every child in their life time. No way out of it or around it. It is a guaranteed sure thing that will occur at some point. Losing their first tooth!

So, my youngest has had one just a wiggling for quite some time. I knew what was coming, I've seen it in my other 2. Losing a first tooth can be traumatic and scary. I remember the hesitancy of my others to have it touched, wiggled or even looked at. Uncertainty about the unknown.

Well, last night it happened. Got so loose that she would not close her mouth, and slobber was just drooling as she dabbed it up with her little cloth. Drooling and a dabbing.. she was afraid with a capital A! We attempted at one point to "help" her get it out with a little parental power, knowing what a long night it could be if we didn't....but then we felt traumatized, so decided to wait.

I gave her every pep talk and reassurance I could think of. "Mariah, think of all the people who have lost their teeth, and lived through it!" "This is making room for your big girl teeth!" Her brother and sister also assured her that "nope, it doesn't hurt!" I continued to remind her that she could trust mom's wisdom and that it would be okay. To know that as soon as it popped out, it would feel great, she could eat and maybe even earn a buck or two!! (You know the whole tooth fairy thing...)

Well, she didn't budge. She continued to stay in her miserable position, drooling, dabbing and just crying that she wanted it out, but wouldn't allow us to help!

Finally, her tongue bumped against it by accident and it was literally laying right on her lip, she could tell it was out. A few more tears for the shock of it all and then sweet joy! Smiles were back, food could be eaten, talk without drool....an amazing transformation. And, she said with a grin, "Mom, now the next one won't be hard at all!"

So, you know I was just thinking to myself about myself. And, God. And, how there are so many times when God asks me to trust Him in something, and I am petrified! And just like I knew as her mama that losing it would benefit her, help her to get to the next stage of big girl teeth...God knows that the things He allows or asks me to release will not harm me, send me over the edge or anything else I fear...but rather cause me to benefit, to grow, to learn from Him.

Phew, I just wonder at the times I have sat there just a crying, drooling, dabbing, and agonizing over something, wanting to do His will, but fearing the unknown. Causing myself undue pain and misery. When all along in a whisper voice God was reassuring me that it would be okay. He'd seen it before, I could trust the outcome to Him, I wasn't the first. How many times have I "protected" something...don't touch, don't wiggle, don't MESS with this!!! And, the Lord knew that in order for me to go forward, something had to go... be "let" go of to the One in charge.

I know, I know, unlike losing a first tooth...sometimes the "losing" of things in life can be very painful. Very real. The loss of our dreams or expectations. The loss of "self" when He asks us to lay something down. The list of loss in this world is a long one indeed.

Oh, but I want to get better with every situation the Lord allows in my life...better at trusting Him first. To understand deeper that He is trustworthy, He is faithful, He is unchanging. To recognize when He is doing a new work, and when something old has got to go. To be able to say, "This time won't be as hard Lord, because I trust you with the outcome, I've seen you come through before, I know your track record!"

So enough drooling and a dabbing, drooling and a dabbing...help me trust you more, Lord!! Have your way in me!!

Because she's almost double-digits, y'all!

2008-09-15T18:26:00.001-07:00

I know, I know...if I write all this now, what will I save for her actual birthday coming up in less than 2 months?? It's just that she is not going to be 9 for much longer. And, as I heard at a conference recently, sometimes you want to celebrate the "lasts" of something, instead of always the beginnings.

Like, when will the last time be that I can really pick her up under her armpits like I love to do and have her wrap her legs around me? So far I have promised all my kids that I will always do that, but the truth is she will continue to grow and someday I will weaken. Plus, I picture running to my own mom now, having her swing me up, wrapping my legs around her waist....awkward at best, minor injuries at worse!

So, for these last few weeks of having a 9 year old, I want to soak it in. Soak in the joy of who my sweet Mikayla is at 9 years and closer to 10 than ever before...

*Her laughter, ringing loud, head tilted back...especially when daddy gets her neck!

*Her compassion for other people is so special to my heart. God has placed it there for amazing purposes. Like the time her sister was sick and couldn't go to a game, it just pained her that Mariah might miss out on all the fun. OR when she wonders if her daddy has had a good dinner when he is traveling and away from home. She cares deeply for others.

*Her love for Christ. Wanting to get to know Him better, meeting me on the porch early in the morning to be with me and Him.

*Her ability to swim...incredible stroke and form. A someday Olympian I think if she wanted to become one!

*Her sensitive and discerning heart....wanting to please and choose the right path. Aware when someone else is hurting.

*Her imagination...creating plays, writing songs, acting make believe...i just love it. Lemonade stands, sewing classes, Christmas plays in abundance.

*Her love for singing...from the heart, just for fun, sounding so sweet! Her church choir is so lucky to have her!

*Her desire to be with me. Always asking to be together, play a game, chat....and I am so thankful that she loves me so very much.

*A true servant's heart....bringing her dad water when he mows, or scratching her brother's head at night. May she always remember that we are happiest when we are doing something for others. It's true, God said it first.

So, these are just a few things that bless my buns when it comes to my 9 year old daughter.

God has such incredible plans for her sweet little life and I am so humbled and thankful that He picked me to be her mom.

Now we need to get planning that party...

When I say she's my favorite....it's not because she's my only one.....

2008-09-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

So, the day has come to wish my very favorite sister in all of the world a Happy Birthday.

No, seriously she has been my favorite for as long as I can remember. I was 9 years old, and the luckiest girl around when I got my very own "baby" doll to play with! And, my life has been richer ever since that day in 1979, September 10th to be exact......

I love my sister's heart.....for others especially. She has a deep compassion to want to help those in need, that I think is deeper than she sometimes even knows. I believe there will come a day when she will find so many in need, so many who need to hear her words of encouragement that she herself will be amazed. For now it is in the daily that she does it so beautifully.

I love my sister's hair...I know I know, after the last "deep" one, how could I be so trivial?? Well, if you could see her hair, even just touch it for one moment you would understand. It is truly the thickest, perfectly waved/yet not curly, lusciously long hair that you could imagine, that I have seen!! There are those, whom shall remain nameless, that "long" (get it?) for such hair, so much so that they would pay to have strands attached for a moment...just to have it flow down their backs like hers does. She could cut and sell her strands to those considered "thinning" or "less than". There are days that she might call a "bad" hair day and it's all I can do to look away, knowing that her bad is my dream. So, whatever, felt like I just had to mention it, even though trivial, it's true!!

I love my sister's strength and willingness to fight. To persist until she finds the answers that she is looking for. To use her knowledge to help herself, and to help others. She has endured painful moments in her life, and yet she stands. Hopeful that someday there will be light in some dark tunnels, choosing to keep on walking until she sees it. I am proud to call her sister.

She knows I love her laugh, it twinkles like the stars in the sky. It is a music to my ears that always makes me laugh just hearing it. She said I said the same about my brother's giggle...but really it doesn't take away from what hers does for others. It is the icing on the cake....a funny joke, but then her laugh at the end! Can't describe it in words...like a melody all of its own.

I am amazed at my sister's gifting to write. I say gifting because I believe there are those who can write when they've taken a class and those who write from down deep in the soul. She is a soul writer. No, really, you will read her book one day and be blessed. She has a way of taking stories, weaving them into unforgettable words, and leaving you touched by them. Gifted indeed.

I love my sister because she is my gift from God. Hand picked by my heavenly Father...for me. I wouldn't trade her for anyone else in the world. I have a life time of memories with her....some laughing until we cried, and some just crying together. Woven tightly in my heart and cherished sweetly.

I love you Kara Lynn...my best sister and precious friend. Happy Day!!

To my brother, Mark-us! with love....

2008-09-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

My brother is 40. Need I say more?? Well, you know me, and I am not a woman of few words, so I will say more...

I love him. I love his willingness to always lend a helping hand.

I love his giggle (or for his benefit I will call it a "manly laugh")... which he doesn't like, but it rocks and makes me laugh when I hear it.

I love that he has his dogs trained to do all kinds of cool tricks.

I love that he loves his wife and kids so much. I love that when he married his wife, Kristy, he gave me a sister in law who was already my trusted friend! and, I love that when he had kids, he blessed my kids with cousins....but mostly, sweet friends!

I love that he is a hard worker and I love that he is a respected and intelligent man in his work place.

I love that he has a fetish with cars and watches. like a used car salesman, always on time!

I love that if I need to buy something new, I either buy what he already owns, or ask for his opinion because he has good advice and knows a lot.

I love that He loves God and knows where his strength comes from.

I love him because he is my brother and my friend.

Happy Birthday, Mark!

What's that smell?

2008-08-28T05:32:00.001-07:00

So school for most of us is just around the corner, or for some already started. Whether the school bus will stop by to pick up the kids, or we head down the stairs after breakfast, school is starting. I have called this "brain warm up week"....because after a long summer, it takes awhile to re group. I am a sucker for this time of year... for freshly opened books, pencils that have never been used, and the anticipation of great things to come.

Praying, and filled with hope that this year will be our best year yet....at least that is the request I have laid before my Heavenly Father. Better, Lord. Help me to be a better teacher than last year, more patient, loving, more selfless. Help me to not be so distracted by the daily, that I miss the moments to teach that which will last for eternity. To lay aside what I would "rather" be doing and choose what I know I am called to be doing.

I shared this verse with my precious friend Julie, who just this year will be stepping into the rivers of the unknown...home schooling her kids. Oh, I just see how the Lord is moving to do amazing things for them this year. Splash on!!

As we shared the other day our hearts of wanting to impart to our kids a love for Christ, and all the other list of 55,000 things that mama's have in their hearts. All the things they pray their children will get and grow in. From the smallest things like good manners at the table or making their beds, to the biggest....knowing and loving their Savior, walking in His ways, ministering effectively His joy and peace and salvation to many...and so forth and so on.

So as we were sharing, the Lord showed me this verse, you know how He faithfully does that. And, so this is my prayer for my heart this year. For my friends who also home school and for my friends who don't. For each of us moms, regardless of our kid's place of education, who so desire to raise our children in His faithful ways, and who realize that if it is left up to us, our strength, our goodness, our human knowledge....there is no hope. But empowered by the Spirit, we can do all things.

2 Corinthians 2:14

But thanks be to God, (thanking Him in anticipation for all He plans to do), who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ ( walking in His victory) and through us ( us moms) spreads everywhere (to our kids, to all) the fragrance of the knowledge of Him.

Spreads everywhere the fragrance..of the knowledge of Him! oh, may that be the story of my life, the story of my day. That His fragrance would be all over me. Like when you have that delicious smelling candle burning in your kitchen and the delight of it wafts into every room in your house....that's what I am talking about.

That He would emanate (is this a word that means to go forth from, to flow out of?? if not, you get the point) from me. That He would pour forth and leave a beautiful fragrance with every person I talk with, encounter in my day. That our school room would just be filled up with the fragrance of patience, love, hope, joy, strength...His fragrance flowing through me.

That my kids would see in me a humility of knowing my Source of strength. That the greatest lessons learned this year would be caught and not just taught. May they catch me in the act each morning of reading His Word, see me giving selflessly to them and others, see me serving their dad, choosing joy when I want to not. You know what I mean. Fragrance. of Him. in this home, in my heart, flowing out to others.

So, that's all. well, except to admit that there are days when it stinks in here. You know, like gross, smelly, like a fog that hangs close. That is my flesh. Selfish, prideful, jealous, angry, impatient, unyielding, unkind. There are days when I need to open up the windows of my heart, confess it to the One who promises to blow fresh wind in and through me. So that I can smell fresh and sweet once again.

Who needs Handy?

2008-08-16T05:42:00.000-07:00

My two handsome basketball boys. I am blessed indeed. Like father like son I guess. Levi has seen in Brad a passion for the game, a love for the sport and now feels the same way.

So of course it would be a natural thing to get a hoop for the driveway. The plastic one in our basement clearly doesn't count.

And for all of you who have put together toys for kids, you know it is never easy. The directions look like English but when you read them, your brain is unable to compute what they are really saying. And it always takes longer than one might imagine...always. And the amount of small parts and screws and baggies of weird looking things could make the strongest of men feel weary.

So in our household, there lives a man with a tremendous amount of gifts. A passionate love for God, faithful husband, (Happy 17 years honey, and still growing in His grace together!) incredible dad, best lawn mower on the block, committed coach, and trustworthy friend. However, and by his own admission, "handy man" is not on his gifting list. He was in a different line when that one was passed out. And for being a laid back kind of guy that he is, let me give an example by saying we've lost some Christmas spirit before with things like getting the fresh pine tree into the base, you know White Christmas playing in the background, fire lit, cookies baking, and the blasted tree won't stay up, isn't straight, the screws aren't tightening.....you know, little handy type, "requires tools" kinda things.

So today I am giving it up for my hubby who almost single handedly put together this basketball hoop. Because he didn't give up, because he patiently read the directions over and over, because he never lost his cool, and only needed help at the very end. (thx to papa, uncle mark and neighbor Ray) And according to my brother, it's possible he really ended putting together about 6 hoops because of the times he had to do things more than once. But he kept telling Levi when he would walk through the garage and look at all the parts and pieces laying around..."we're making progress buddy, we're making progress!"

Not just a hoop for our family to play on, but also a reminder of a dad who invests wisely in his children. Who gives up his time, just to bless their hearts. Who not only built the hoop, but will spend hours playing horse, 3 on 3, and dunking to impress the neighbor kids.

Who needs handy??

Leaves that hinder...

2008-07-30T16:39:00.000-07:00

So, let me start with my tomato plants. The tomatoes haven't looked healthy. Now I am not usually a name caller, but some of the fruit kinda looks deformed, funny looking, maybe even rotting? But the plants themselves look full, green, healthy and growing taller everyday.

Now mind you this is our first year of being gardeners, and admittedly we have lots to learn. I found out according to one google search, that the stems with "leaves only" should be cut back because they are stealing the good nutrients from the stems that are trying hard to grow the tomatoes.

So, I did what it said. I mean I really did....my plants almost seem embarassed now from their nakedness! (Is there a website to order custom vegetable covering?) I did exactly as it had said to do... cut back every stem with leaves only, and leave all the stems with the little flower buds or tiny green tomatoes. Yikes. Looking at them now, I think most would shake their heads and say, "Better luck next year!" And, I admit I am feeling nervous that I may have done them in, cut too much, gone too far. Time will tell us if this will indeed be the very thing my plants needed to grow healthier, more beautiful tomatoes...or the shameful death of them all.

So here is what has been rattling around in my heart, a whisper I heard early in the summer, a conviction really. Funny how God would use my tomato plants to continue to teach me and get my attention.

I have noticed that very often the plant of my life looks full. No, really... growing tall, seems healthy, lots of green leaves just a waving in the breeze. And to be sure, many of the leaves are good leaves. Good things. But I have felt the need to ask God this summer to prune away that which is good, so that which is best can grow fuller and more beautiful.

I want to be a good listener when He says..lay this down, give this up, change this plan, do this differently...His ways are best. He knows what fruit He has in mind for my life, why do I fear or fight letting His shears get close to my leaves....the green leaves that appear to be healthy and full? I want to trust that when He cuts away anything, it is with great purpose and precision.

Now mind you, I didn't give my tomatoes a choice...ready or not there I sheared!! In my gardener wisdom ( I hear my vegetables out there mocking me!), I understand that to cut back, means greater growth.

God doesn't always give us a choice in our pruning or wait until we ask. In His sovereign love for us, and His desire to see the beautiful plan of our lives unfold, He starts clipping away at the lesser things. Making room for the God things. Oh, I want the God things. I want what will last for eternity. A harvest unimaginable.

But too often I allow the things that mean little, to take away from the things that mean the most. The things I desire to do, the most important things, I often fail to do, because of busyness, distractions, selfishness. My leaves hinder my fruit.

I don't know much about gardening, don't know much about much. But, I do know this. Jesus said that He is the Vine and we are the branches. Our life nutrients and vitality come through Him. In fact, He is very clear...apart from Him, we can do nothing!

Ask Him what "good" leaves may be hindering the vital flow to the greatest, most wonderful, and for sure the sweetest fruit you've ever known, or grown for that matter.

1,825 days to celebrate!....(and you know I needed a calculator to figure that one out!)

2008-07-24T05:17:00.000-07:00

So, today is big. For my baby that is. Mariah Faith Soucie. She is officially 5 years old today. She is a bundle of love for sure. We still call her snuggle bug, because she still loves to climb up and tuck under...holding her pink blankie close. And, she loves to throw back her head and belly laugh when she is being tickled by daddy. I am so blessed to be her mama.

She too is a mommy at heart. I honestly think she has asked for a baby doll and stroller every birthday and Christmas for the last 4 years. Seriously, our home is a mini orphanage to many. She puts my shoes on, gets her pretend cell phone and wraps those babies up in blankets ready to hit the road. It's her favorite thing to play.

So it was no surprise when she asked for a double stroller this year. And, she got it. It's a beauty too...we took it on our errands yesterday and the babies had a blast!!

She also got a pair of dress up shoes that I think are honestly nicer looking than the wedding shoes I wore 17 years ago! I saw them in the store and knew they were going to delight her little heart. They did.

No, these shoes are not the plastic kind that squeeze your toes and are so slickery on the bottom that they come with a warning label...., these are the modern day dress up shoes. The real deal in tiny sizes. And, when she wears them she feels grown up and like a princess, and clomps around in confidence!

You know, the older I get the more I have realized that it takes more than a pretty pair of shoes to make me feel that way. Don't get me wrong, cute shoes, especially cheap and cute, are awesome. But, even the fanciest of shoes don't change me when I wear them.

See I think sometimes I wear the white bride-looking shoes...doing, saying, being, ...all that I want to be, all that I know I should be to please the Lord. But, see, white shoes don't make me a bride. I am a bride because my Heavenly Father calls me a bride of Christ.

When I grab a hold of His truth and walk confidently in that, I am changed. I have been chosen by the King? whoa.

I want to seek to please Him with my life not just on the days when I'm wearing "bride" shoes, but everyday...the common days. I want to please Him on the inside, where it's just me and Him....on the middle of a hot and long summer afternoon. When my pits are sweaty, my house is a mess and my friend in need, needs me. Needs encouragement. When my kids need my focused attention, my heart needs time with Him, my husband needs me to listen. In those moments, wearing last year's flip flops...I can walk as the bride of Christ, His Spirit empowering me to do all things well.

Let's give it up for the runners....

2008-06-26T05:38:00.000-07:00

So this weekend I was blessed to be a part of my parent's "farewell" at the church they have faithfully served for over 22 years. Indeed, it would be hard to put into words how blessed I was to see my dad preach an amazing sermon (shadowmoutain.org and go to sermon archives), sit next to my beautiful mom and watch as others poured out their love on my parents, grateful for what they had invested there.

Spiritual heritage? amen and amen. What more would I want for my kids than to know their Nana and Papa were being rewarded by men on this earth, not just for being good employees to a company...but for their service to the One Who will someday reward them with the words we all long to hear, "Well done, thou give and faithful servant!"

So, at this stage in their lives it is called retirement. To step away from what they've known, you know, take a break, "you deserve it", after all the labor you've invested in others, it's your time now. And, yes, I pray that in this new season in life they would indeed have a break. Moments of rest, time away, being ministered to, joy in abundance, peace that passes understanding, laughter that makes you weep....however this is what I know for sure. My parents will never retire. Not from their service to Christ, to one another or to the people most privileged to walk beside them in this life.

You see..their race is not finished. Until the day Christ calls them home, they will run with abandon, with purpose, with a goal in their mind's eye....for what they do for eternity is what will last. Imagine the blessing of having them as runners ahead of me, my siblings, and grandchildren...watching their steady race, sometimes stumbling or growing weary, but always looking ahead, never giving up. Someday handing the torch to us, that the Word would continue to be spoken and used to minister hope to others.

No question about it. We've seen the sweat pouring off of them. We've watched as they've had to rest along the path, recovering from injuries, wounds, stresses, deep heartaches. Yes, running the race is filled with great joy...but the truth is, no one will ever cross the finish line without the wounds and injuries as reminders that the race was not easy, but ever so worth it.

Worth it, because I see in their eyes the glimmer of the prize....I know they hear the Savior's call, sometimes a whisper, but always leading them. Run on, faithful servant! I am always with you, I will never leave you or forsake you. I see the cost you have paid to carry this torch, and I am the Great Rewarder, run on, run on!

My mom and dad's life theme has been Always Living in View of Eternity...seriously, when it's all said and done, what else could be more important than that?

And, one last thing....to my mom who has faithfully loved her Lord and Savior, encouraged, supported, loved, listened to my dad for all these years. Poured into her family with great joy and a humble servant's heart. You are the unsung hero. You are a delightful example of a help meet to your husband. For every meal you delivered to a family, every word spoken with encouragement, every note of love always signed with a verse, every smile given to ease the pain in someone's heart, your gracious listening ear, every moment of "background" service so that Alive ministries would be organized and well run, every note played on your piano as a sacrifice of praise to your Lord, finding joy in the moment... God has seen every act of service in His name, God has collected every prayer you have laid before Him, He has called you by name and is delighted in you. He sings over you with love. And, I rise and call you blessed indeed.

And, to my dad. Faithful man of God...who is purposeful in choosing to enjoy life, with laughter and joy. Who I believe has been annointed with a gift of wisdom from the Lord, and has shared that with others over the years, even when it cost him personally to do so. A faithful husband who truly loves his wife, a dad who loves his children. Couldn't ask for a better man in leading by example, laughter by the pound, a listening ear, wisdom from the Word, a servant's heart.

To my precious parents, Run On!....the road ahead is sure to be one of great reward, that is just Who our God is. And, you better buy a new pair of running shoes, I believe some of the greatest journey lies just ahead, above and beyond all that we could ask or imagine....

with great love, Kendra

light sabers and mighty warriors...

2008-06-13T16:40:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here at my computer listening to screams, high fives, and loads of loud fun as my son celebrates his 8th birthday today. He got a new NBA basketball game, his favorite sport and is just feeling down right happy! I just love Levi's laughter, willing to act silly to make others laugh. I love his strength...enduring sleepless nights of itching some times and still hanging tight. I am so proud to be this boy's mom.

Tonight he is blessed to have some of his longest known and best friends in all of the world, Luke and Gabriel by his side. As G always reminds him...I've known you my whole life!!

This year, God has blessed Levi with a new special buddy, Eddie, who he loves to spend time with and sometimes they remind me of 2 peas in a pod! Surrounded with buddies, what could be better.

Needless to say, after good pizza, too much cake and ice cream, bubble gum sticks, pepsi, and one amazing burping contest, we have had fun. I think I burped the alphabet to D and then realized that when you eat too much pizza and try to belch, it hurts.

Have you ever noticed how they love to fight, to wrestle, lead a battle...attack each other with squirt guns, it's just their nature. I've witnessed many a battle in my days. Especially with those plastic light sabers that light up and make sound on contact, now that's cool wrapped up for $15!

So, the verse that came to me was the one in Phillipians 2:14-15...the part that says "shine like the stars, as you hold out the word..." It reminded me of the light sabers. The greatest battlers in the kingdom of Christ are the ones who know the Word, hold it out as a great light in the darkness and use it to do battle.

Ephesians 6 is a great chapter on spiritual warfare. It says we don't wrestle with flesh and blood but against rulers, authorities, against the powers of this dark world, spiritual forces....can't fight them without the Word. You know, the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God. Like a light saber, only more powerful to do real damage when the enemy comes knocking with his lying schemes to get us down, defeated, feeling unworthy and tempted to give up. God's word busts through the dark and sets captives free!

Yep, think I'll head out to the campfire and roast some marshmallows, or maybe just watch them melt in the fire. I will have to unbutton my shorts if I eat any more sugar tonight.

Plan on reminding these young army men that to be powerful for the Lord, a real man, a mighty warrior...you have to know the Word. All other weapons mean nothing in the spiritual realm, but having this one in your arsenal can save you, save others, bless you in abundance, and do damage to the enemy's deadly schemes. who needs a light saber?

Added note to self:

Try and do devotional time earlier in the night, like before all the cake, ice cream and marshmallows. So the boys can listen, focus, get it, you know sit on the couch for longer than 12 seconds without jumping, hitting, laughing or burping! Oh well, we learn as we go...

My fake pony...(picture shows pony not included!)

2008-06-12T10:46:00.000-07:00

So, I felt like I had to write about what happened to me the other day in a restaurant. No seriously, could go down as being one of my most embarassing moments.

We went to a nice place after church, to celebrate Ellie's bday.

Yep, so it all started a few weeks back when I found something at CVS pharmacy that was bound to change my life. A fake pony tail. On a clip. To be clipped on to the back of your head, and transform any person from daily to glam in a hot second! Sure enough, it matched my hair color and I was so happy. I had recently cut my hair, cute style, but it is such a bummer to try and put it in a pony tail, which is my daily stay at home mom style, only to have it be like 1/2 inch long stub.

So, back to Sunday. I wore my pony to church, just as confident as could be. Swinging my hair around like I just got off of a photo shoot. Feeling cute, honestly it boosted my esteem the minute I clipped it in. Just worshipping the Lord, hands raised with my pony just a swinging around like it was praising too.

Well, at the restaurant we were having a fabulous time chatting, laughing. I love being with Ritchie and Julie and their kids. So, after we had all ordered, buffet plates on their way, people all around dressed in their Sunday best....Mariah climbed up on my lap to snuggle. She had her little hands wrapped around the back of my neck just like a little love bug would. This is what I can honestly say, what I am about to tell you happened so fast, that it took a minute for it to register in my mind.

She bumped that clip in my hair, and that long and lucious ponytail flew off the back of my head and landed on the floor a few feet from my chair. No seriously. I grabbed the back of my head and grabbed Julie's arm...."my pony, my pony!!! get it off the floor. oh my word, my pony!!" By this point I am starting to sweat like we were in the Sahara desert and I am quietly yelling at Julie to get it off the floor. She and Ritchie are bent over the table, weeping with laughter, unable to move or help.

Had someone gotten up to head to the buffet at that moment, they would have surely screamed, MOUSE!!! if they had seen that blasted brown ponytail laying on the ground.

Oh, just the thought of it....are you tracking with me???

So, eventually Julie in her gracious way, however slow it might have been, leaned out, snatched that thing off the ground and had the audacity to tell me to lean over so she could clip it back in. Clip it back in???? Oh, like that wouldn't have been obvious in the middle of a busy restaurant on brunch day!!

I am sure the waitress was wondering what happened to the glamorous girl at the end of the table, ordering confidently and chatting with abandon. When she came back to deliver the scrambled eggs, she found a dejected, normal looking housewife, with a ponytail stub at the back of her neck, bobby pins sticking out wildly, and a large brown hairpiece hanging out of the side of her purse.

So, that's the truth of it, and I am not sure I will be able to wear that again. But maybe I could secure it better, more pins, it is cute, it is a perfect match...well, we'll see about that.

Watching for weeds

2008-06-12T09:54:00.001-07:00

This spring we planted a garden. I've always wanted to plant one, and it has been amazing to see the plants go from little green sprouts, to blooming flowers and now actual vegetables!

As I was out there hoeing the other day, I was disgusted at the amount of weeds. Every row was covered in them. I hadn't been out there in a week or so, and they seemed to just come out of no where. I stood there, covered in mud, developing a blister, sweating in a way unbecoming to any woman...and this thought occurred to me.

In my life with Christ, I try to be on purpose about what I plant in my life. Goodness, patience, joy, kindness, selflessness, His ways over mine....just as I had carefully selected which plants would go in my garden. And, I have faithfully watered, fed, and tended to those plants just like I try and be purposeful about tending to the things of God in my life. Like time in His Word, listening to His Spirit, and sharing my heart with Him.

However, I did nothing to encourage those weeds to grow!! Didn't plant their seeds, did not give them fertilizer, wasn't watering them on purpose...yet look how they've taken over! They are strong little guys with deep roots. One little weed can turn into ground coverage in a hot minute.

So it is with me. If I am not careful to quickly pull out any small weed that shows its ugly head, it will spread and eventually choke out the good things that I really desire to grow in my life. A sharp word, prideful spirit, discontentment, jealous heart....how quickly these can grow and choke out the Spirit and the beautiful harvest that He desires to give me.

I am getting ready to start a summer Bible study called No other gods. I know the Lord has much to teach me about the things that I turn to, that fill me up temporarily. comforts, crutches i lean on, conveniences that i wouldn't want to live without.

However, when I cling to little gods, holding tight to that which fills for a moment but then quickly runs dry, I am not making room in my heart for the One God who can fill me so completely, so lavishly, so deeply that I will never thirst again.

Expecting big things from the One who does abundantly more than what we could ask or imagine.