New Year...fresh start!

A friend asked me what my resolutions were, you know things I want to do better or different in this new year.

Well, this is what I want in 2009....more of Him, less of me!!  More of His Spirit, daily empowering me to live His way. 

Less of the self centered and fearful and prideful me, more depth of Trusting in His ways and words.  Believing Him more, being renewed and transformed in my mind, being washed in the water of His word. 

in the daily....I want to know how to pray. Reading a book right now by Andrew Murray (1800's)....sooooooo powerful...about learning how to pray. Being a true intercessor, of power and of expecting results through faith.  Teach me to pray this year, Lord!  Your kingdom come, through my prayer, on earth as it is in heaven.  

in the daily...eat less food, better food. not think about food so much.  You know, just careless eating and sometimes purposeful eating to feel better.  Being filled up with Him.  Putting into practice that which I know in my head, but have long since walked out. eating better, feeling better.

in the daily....being home more to be a homemaker.  I am so easily distracted and caught up in doing.  running to target.  busy.  and then my house explodes...and I am stressed.  I want to manage my life better in the daily.  laundry, good meals for family, being available for my kids, time to sit and chat.  not distracted.  I have to choose to be home more (saying no to things i WANT to do!!)... in order to do these things. Fighting the flesh of wanting to go, be somewhere else...and choose to be home.   Seeking Him for what I am supposed to be involved in...can't do it all, Lord, what do you want me to do??

in the daily....exercise.  so i have a stress release in my life.  so i feel better. and maybe squeeze into my jeans that lately have been looking at me funny when i pull them out of the drawer, shaking their head and saying, "nice try"!!! To take better care of my temple.

in the daily....more consistent discipline with homeschool.  It's hard to not feel like I am not doing all that I could/should be doing.  Most home school moms struggle with this feeling.  

Like other things, the things that are temporary distract me from that which is eternal and most important!!  

in the daily...loving my husband with the love of the Father.  Seeing my role in his life as a true help mate.  and sacrificing to make that happen.  And, watching God raise him up to all that He has for him to be!

in the daily....the Lord gave me a specific phrase a few months back that I want to live out better this year.  

"Invest deeply in the lives of others, with a grateful heart and without fear, expectations, or control"    These last 3 things can quickly steal the joy and true love of loving others well. By God's grace. 

just a few things that come to mind....how about you??

'Cuz I know I'm not the only one....

It's not unusual on those busy, rush around to get it all done, piles of laundry waiting to be folded...piles more waiting to be washed kind of weeks....that I end up wearing a pair of socks like this. Mis-matched. But matching with my week.  So, I took a picture of my feet this morning, wearing the socks that I found in my drawer last night.  

'Cuz I know I'm not the only one who has ever done that.  :)

Drooling and a dabbing!

Okay, so it happens to every child in their life time.  No way out of it or around it.  It is a guaranteed sure thing that will occur at some point.  Losing their first tooth! 

So, my youngest has had one just a wiggling for quite some time.  I knew what was coming, I've seen it in my other 2.  Losing a first tooth can be traumatic and scary.  I remember the hesitancy of my others to have it touched, wiggled or even looked at.  Uncertainty about the unknown.

Well, last night it happened. Got so loose that she would not close her mouth, and slobber was just drooling as she dabbed it up with her little cloth. Drooling and a dabbing.. she was afraid with a capital A!  We attempted at one point to "help" her get it out with a little parental power, knowing what a long night it could be if we didn't....but then we felt traumatized, so decided to wait.

I gave her every pep talk and reassurance I could think of.  "Mariah, think of all the people who have lost their teeth, and lived through it!" "This is making room for your big girl teeth!" Her brother and sister also assured her that "nope, it doesn't hurt!"  I continued to remind her that she could trust mom's wisdom and that it would be okay.  To know that as soon as it popped out, it would feel great, she could eat and maybe even earn a buck or two!! (You know the whole tooth fairy thing...)

Well, she didn't budge.  She continued to stay in her miserable position, drooling, dabbing and just crying that she wanted it out, but wouldn't allow us to help! 

Finally, her tongue bumped against it by accident and it was literally laying right on her lip, she could tell it was out.  A few more tears for the shock of it all and then sweet joy!  Smiles were back, food could be eaten, talk without drool....an amazing transformation.  And, she said with a grin, "Mom, now the next one won't be hard at all!"

So, you know I was just thinking to myself about myself.  And, God.  And, how there are so many times when God asks me to trust Him in something, and I am petrified!   And just like I knew as her mama that losing it would benefit her, help her to get to the next stage of big girl teeth...God knows that the things He allows or asks me to release will not harm me, send me over the edge or anything else I fear...but rather cause me to benefit, to grow, to learn from Him.

Phew, I just wonder at the times I have sat there just a crying, drooling, dabbing, and agonizing over something, wanting to do His will, but fearing the unknown.  Causing myself undue pain and misery.  When all along in a whisper voice God was reassuring me that it would be okay. He'd seen it before, I could trust the outcome to Him, I wasn't the first.   How many times have I "protected" something...don't touch, don't wiggle, don't MESS with this!!!  And, the Lord knew that in order for me to go forward, something had to go... be "let" go of to the One in charge.

  

 I know, I know, unlike losing a first tooth...sometimes the "losing" of things in life can be very painful.  Very real.  The loss of our dreams or expectations.  The loss of "self" when He asks us to lay something down.  The list of loss in this world is a long one indeed.

Oh, but I want to get better with every situation the Lord allows in my life...better at trusting Him first. To understand deeper that He is trustworthy, He is faithful, He is unchanging.   To recognize when He is doing a new work, and when something old has got to go.  To be able to say, "This time won't be as hard Lord, because I trust you with the outcome, I've seen you come through before, I know your track record!"

So enough drooling and a dabbing, drooling and a dabbing...help me trust you more, Lord!! Have your way in me!! 

Because she's almost double-digits, y'all!

I know, I know...if I write all this now, what will I save for her actual birthday coming up in less than 2 months??  It's just that she is not going to be 9 for much longer.  And, as I heard at a conference recently, sometimes you want to celebrate the "lasts" of something, instead of always the beginnings. 

Like, when will the last time be that I can  really pick her up under her armpits like I love to do and have her wrap her legs around me?  So far I have promised all my kids that I will always do that, but the truth is she will continue to grow and someday I will weaken.  Plus, I picture running to my own mom now,  having her swing me up, wrapping my legs around her waist....awkward at best, minor injuries at worse! 

So, for these last few weeks of having a 9  year old, I want to soak it in.  Soak in the joy of who my sweet Mikayla is at 9 years and closer to 10 than ever before...

*Her laughter, ringing loud, head tilted back...especially when daddy gets her neck!

*Her compassion for other people is so special to my heart.  God has placed it there for amazing purposes.  Like the time her sister was sick and couldn't go to a game, it just pained her that Mariah might miss out on all the fun. OR when she wonders if her daddy has had a good dinner when he is traveling and away from home.   She cares deeply for others.

*Her love for Christ.  Wanting to get to know Him better, meeting me on the porch early in the morning to be with me and Him.

*Her ability to swim...incredible stroke and form.  A someday Olympian I think if she wanted to become one!

*Her sensitive and discerning heart....wanting to please and choose the right path.  Aware when someone else is hurting.

*Her imagination...creating plays, writing songs, acting make believe...i just love it.  Lemonade stands, sewing classes, Christmas plays in abundance.

*Her love for singing...from the heart, just for fun, sounding so sweet!  Her church choir is so lucky to have her!

*Her desire to be with me.  Always asking to be together, play a game, chat....and I am so thankful that she loves me so very much.

*A true servant's heart....bringing her dad water when he mows, or scratching her brother's head at night.  May she always remember that we are happiest when we are doing something for others. It's true, God said it first.

So, these are just a few things that bless my buns when it comes to my 9 year old daughter. 

God has such incredible plans for her sweet little life and I am so humbled and thankful that He picked me to be her mom.  

Now we need to get planning that party...

When I say she's my favorite....it's not because she's my only one.....

So, the day has come to wish my very favorite sister in all of the world a Happy Birthday. 

No, seriously she has been my favorite for as long as I can remember.  I was 9 years old, and the luckiest girl around when I got my very own "baby" doll to play with!  And, my life has been richer ever since that day in 1979, September 10th to be exact......

I love my sister's heart.....for others especially.  She has a deep compassion to want to help those in need, that I think is deeper than she sometimes even knows.  I believe there will come a day when she will find so many in need, so many who need to hear her words of encouragement that she herself will be amazed.  For now it is in the daily that she does it so beautifully. 

I love my sister's hair...I know I know, after the last "deep" one, how could I be so trivial??  Well, if you could see her hair, even just touch it for one moment you would understand.  It is truly the thickest, perfectly waved/yet not curly, lusciously long hair that you could imagine, that I have seen!!  There are those, whom shall remain nameless, that "long" (get it?)  for such hair, so much so that they would pay to have strands attached for a moment...just to have it flow down their backs like hers does.   She could cut and sell her strands to those considered "thinning" or "less than".  There are days that she might call a "bad" hair day and it's all I can do to look away, knowing that her bad is my dream. So, whatever, felt like I just had to mention it, even though trivial, it's true!! 

I love my sister's strength and willingness to fight.  To persist until she finds the answers that she is looking for.  To use her knowledge to help herself, and to help others. She has endured painful moments in her life, and yet she stands.  Hopeful that someday there will be light in some dark tunnels, choosing to keep on walking until she sees it.  I am proud to call her sister.

She knows I love her laugh, it twinkles like the stars in the sky.  It is a music to my ears that always makes me laugh just hearing it.  She said I said the same about my brother's giggle...but really it doesn't take away from what hers does for others.  It is the icing on the cake....a funny joke, but then her laugh at the end!  Can't describe it in words...like a melody all of its own.

I am amazed at my sister's gifting to write.  I say gifting because I believe there are those who can write when they've taken a class and those who write from down deep in the soul. She is a soul writer.  No, really, you will read her book one day and be blessed.  She has a way of taking stories, weaving them into unforgettable words, and leaving you touched by them.  Gifted indeed.

I love my sister because she is my gift from God.  Hand picked by my heavenly Father...for me.  I wouldn't trade her for anyone else in the world.  I have a life time of memories with her....some laughing until we cried, and some just crying together.  Woven tightly in my heart and cherished sweetly.

I love you Kara Lynn...my best sister and precious friend.  Happy Day!!

To my brother, Mark-us! with love....

My brother is 40. Need I say more??  Well, you know me, and I am not a woman of few words, so I will say more...

I love him.  I love his willingness to always lend a helping hand. 

I love his giggle (or for his benefit I will call it a "manly laugh")... which he doesn't like, but it rocks and makes me laugh when I hear it. 

I love that he has his dogs trained to do all kinds of cool tricks. 

I love that he loves his wife and kids so much. I love that when he married his wife, Kristy, he gave me a sister in law who was already my trusted friend!  and, I love that when he had kids, he blessed my kids with cousins....but mostly, sweet friends!

I love that he is a hard worker and  I love that he is a respected and intelligent man in his work place. 

I love that he has a fetish with cars and watches. like a used car salesman, always on time!

I love that if I need to buy something new, I either buy what he already owns, or ask for his opinion because he has good advice and knows a lot.

I love that He loves God and knows where his strength comes from.  

I love him because he is my brother and my friend. 

Happy Birthday, Mark!

What's that smell?

So school for most of us is just around the corner, or for some already started.  Whether the school bus will stop by to pick up the kids, or we head down the stairs after breakfast, school is starting.  I have called this "brain warm up week"....because after a long summer, it takes awhile to re group.  I am a sucker for this time of year... for freshly opened books, pencils that have never been used, and the anticipation of great things to come.  

Praying, and filled with hope that this year will be our best year yet....at least that is the request I have laid before my Heavenly Father.  Better, Lord.  Help me to be a better teacher than last year, more patient, loving, more selfless.  Help me to not be so distracted by the daily, that I miss the moments to teach that which will last for eternity.  To lay aside what I would "rather" be doing and choose what I know I am called to be doing. 

I shared this verse with my precious friend Julie, who just this year will be stepping into the rivers of the unknown...home schooling her kids.  Oh, I just see how the Lord is moving to do amazing things for them this year.  Splash on!!

As we shared the other day our hearts of wanting to impart to our kids a love for Christ, and all the other list of 55,000 things that mama's have in their hearts.  All the things they pray their children will get and grow in.  From the smallest things like good manners at the table or making their beds, to the biggest....knowing and loving their Savior, walking in His ways, ministering effectively His joy and peace and salvation to many...and so forth and so on.

So as we were sharing, the Lord showed me this verse, you know how He faithfully does that. And, so this is my prayer for my heart this year.  For my friends who also home school and for my friends who don't.  For each of us moms, regardless of our kid's place of education, who so desire to raise our children in His faithful ways, and who realize that if it is left up to us, our strength, our goodness, our human knowledge....there is no hope.  But empowered by the Spirit, we can do all things. 

                                                             2 Corinthians 2:14

But thanks be to God, (thanking Him in anticipation for all He plans to do), who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ ( walking in His victory) and through us ( us moms) spreads everywhere (to our kids, to all)  the fragrance of the knowledge of Him.  

Spreads everywhere the fragrance..of the knowledge of Him!  oh, may that be the story of my life, the story of my day.  That His fragrance would be all over me.  Like when you have that delicious smelling candle burning in your kitchen and the delight of it wafts into every room in your house....that's what I am talking about. 

That He would emanate (is this a word that means to go forth from, to flow out of??  if not, you get the point) from me.  That He would pour forth and leave a beautiful fragrance with every person I talk with, encounter in my day.   That our school room would just be filled up with the fragrance of patience, love, hope, joy, strength...His fragrance flowing through me.  

That my kids would see in me a humility of knowing my Source of strength.   That the greatest lessons learned this year would be caught and not just taught.  May they catch me in the act each morning of reading His Word, see me giving selflessly to them and others, see me serving their dad, choosing joy when  I want to not.  You know what I mean.  Fragrance. of Him.  in this home, in my heart, flowing out to others. 

So, that's all.  well, except to admit that there are days when it stinks in here.  You know, like gross, smelly, like a fog that hangs close.   That is my flesh.  Selfish, prideful, jealous, angry, impatient, unyielding, unkind.  There are days when I need to open up the windows of my heart, confess it to the One who promises to blow fresh wind in and through me.  So that I can smell fresh and sweet once again.

Who needs Handy?

My two handsome basketball boys.  I am blessed indeed.  Like father like son I guess.  Levi has seen in Brad a passion for the game, a love for the sport and now feels the same way. 

So of course it would be a natural thing to get a hoop for the driveway.  The plastic one in our basement clearly doesn't count.

And for all of you who have put together toys for kids,  you know it is never easy.  The directions look like English but when you read them, your brain is unable to compute what they are really saying.  And it always takes longer than one might imagine...always.  And the amount of small parts and screws and baggies of weird looking things could make the strongest of men feel weary. 

So in our household, there lives a man with a tremendous amount of gifts.  A passionate love for God, faithful husband, (Happy 17 years honey, and still growing in His grace together!) incredible dad, best lawn mower on the block, committed coach, and trustworthy friend. However, and by his own admission, "handy man" is not on his gifting list. He was in a different line when that one was passed out.  And for being a laid back kind of guy that he is, let me give an example by saying we've lost some Christmas spirit before with things like getting the fresh pine tree into the base, you know White Christmas playing in the background, fire lit, cookies baking, and the blasted tree won't stay up, isn't straight, the screws aren't tightening.....you know, little handy type, "requires tools" kinda things.

So today I am giving it up for my hubby who almost single handedly put together this basketball hoop.  Because he didn't give up, because he patiently read the directions over and over, because he never lost his cool, and only needed help at the very end.  (thx to papa, uncle mark and neighbor Ray)  And according to my brother, it's possible he really ended putting together about 6  hoops because of the times he had to do things more than once.  But he kept telling Levi when he would walk through the garage and look at all the parts and pieces laying around..."we're making  progress buddy, we're making progress!"

Not just a hoop for our family to play on, but also a reminder of a dad who invests wisely in his children.  Who gives up his time, just to bless their hearts.  Who not only built the hoop, but will spend hours playing  horse, 3 on 3, and dunking to impress the neighbor kids.  

Who needs handy??

Leaves that hinder...

So, let me start with my tomato plants.  The tomatoes haven't looked healthy. Now I am not usually a name caller, but some of the fruit kinda looks deformed, funny looking, maybe even rotting?  But the plants themselves look full, green, healthy and growing taller everyday. 

Now mind you this is our first year of being gardeners, and admittedly we have lots to learn.  I found out according to one google search, that the stems with "leaves only" should be cut back because they are stealing the good nutrients from the stems that are trying hard to grow the tomatoes.  

So, I did what it said.  I mean I really did....my plants almost seem embarassed now from their nakedness!  (Is there a website to order custom vegetable covering?)   I did exactly as it had said to do... cut back every stem with leaves only, and leave all the stems with the little flower buds or tiny green tomatoes.  Yikes.  Looking at them now, I think most would shake their heads and say, "Better luck next year!"  And, I admit I am feeling nervous that I may have done them in, cut too much, gone too far.  Time will tell us if this will indeed be the very thing my plants needed to grow healthier, more beautiful tomatoes...or the shameful death of them all.

So here is what has been rattling around in my heart, a whisper I heard early in the summer, a conviction really.  Funny how God would use my tomato plants to continue to teach me and get my attention.

I have noticed that very often the plant of my life looks full.  No, really... growing tall, seems healthy, lots of green leaves just a waving in the breeze.  And to be sure, many of the leaves are good leaves.  Good things. But I have felt the need to ask God this summer to prune away that which is good, so that which is best can grow fuller and more beautiful.  

I want to be a good listener when He says..lay this down, give this up, change this plan, do this differently...His ways are best.  He knows what fruit He has in mind for my life, why do I fear or fight letting His shears get close to my leaves....the green leaves that appear to be healthy and full? I want to trust that when He cuts away anything, it is with great purpose and precision.  

 

Now mind you, I didn't give my tomatoes a choice...ready or not there I sheared!!   In my gardener wisdom ( I hear my vegetables out there mocking me!),  I understand that to cut back, means greater growth. 

God doesn't always give us a choice in our pruning or wait until we ask.  In His sovereign love for us, and His desire to see the beautiful plan of our lives unfold, He starts clipping away at the lesser things.  Making room for the God things.  Oh, I want the God things. I want what will last for eternity. A harvest unimaginable. 

But too often I allow the things that mean little, to take away from the things that mean the most.  The things I desire to do, the most important things, I often fail to do, because of busyness, distractions, selfishness. My leaves hinder my fruit.

I don't know much about gardening, don't know much about much.  But, I do know this.  Jesus said that He is the Vine and we are the branches.  Our life nutrients and vitality come through Him.  In fact, He is very clear...apart from Him, we can do nothing!  

Ask Him what "good" leaves may be hindering the vital flow to the greatest, most wonderful, and for sure the sweetest fruit you've ever known, or grown for that matter.  

1,825 days to celebrate!....(and you know I needed a calculator to figure that one out!)

So, today is big.  For my baby that is.  Mariah Faith Soucie.  She is officially 5 years old today.  She is a bundle of love for sure.  We still call her snuggle bug,  because she still loves to climb up and tuck under...holding her pink blankie close.  And, she loves to throw back her head and belly laugh when she is being tickled by daddy.  I am so blessed to be her mama.

She too is a mommy at heart.  I honestly think she has asked for a baby doll and stroller every birthday and Christmas for the last 4  years.  Seriously, our home is a mini orphanage to many.  She puts my shoes on, gets her pretend cell phone and wraps those babies up in blankets ready to hit the road.  It's her favorite thing to play.

So it was no surprise when she asked for a double stroller this year.  And, she got it.  It's a beauty too...we took it on our errands yesterday and the babies had a blast!!  

She also got a pair of dress up shoes that I think are honestly nicer looking than the wedding shoes I wore 17 years ago!  I saw them in the store and knew they were going to delight her little heart.   They did. 

No, these shoes are not the plastic kind that squeeze your toes and are so slickery on the bottom that they come with a warning label...., these are the modern day dress up shoes.  The real deal in tiny sizes.  And, when she wears them she feels grown up and like a princess, and clomps around in confidence!

You know, the older I get the more I have realized that it takes more than a pretty pair of shoes to make me feel that way.  Don't get me wrong, cute shoes, especially cheap and cute, are awesome.  But, even the fanciest of shoes don't change me when I wear them.  

See I think sometimes I wear the white bride-looking shoes...doing, saying, being, ...all that I want to be, all that I know I should be to please the Lord.  But, see, white shoes don't make me a bride.  I am a bride because my Heavenly Father calls me a bride of Christ. 

When I grab a hold of His truth and walk confidently in that, I am changed.  I have been chosen by the King?  whoa.  

I want to seek to please Him with my life not just on the days when I'm wearing "bride" shoes, but everyday...the common days.  I want to please Him on the inside, where it's just me and Him....on the middle of  a hot and long summer afternoon. When my pits are sweaty, my house is a mess and my friend in need, needs me.  Needs encouragement.  When my kids need my focused attention,  my heart needs time with Him, my husband needs me to listen.   In those moments, wearing last year's flip flops...I can walk as the bride of Christ, His Spirit empowering me to do all things well.  

Let's give it up for the runners....

So this weekend I was blessed to be a part of my parent's "farewell" at the church they have faithfully served for over 22 years.  Indeed, it would be hard to put into words how blessed I was to see my dad preach an amazing sermon (shadowmoutain.org and go to sermon archives), sit next to my beautiful mom and watch as others poured out their love on my parents, grateful for what they had invested there.

Spiritual heritage?  amen and amen.  What more would I want for my kids than to know their Nana and Papa were being rewarded by men on this earth,  not just for being good employees to a company...but for their service to the One Who will someday reward them with the words we all long to hear, "Well done, thou give and faithful servant!"  

So, at this stage in their lives it is called retirement.  To step away from what they've known, you know, take a break, "you deserve it", after all the labor you've invested in others, it's your time now.   And, yes, I pray that in this new season in life they would indeed have a break. Moments of rest, time away, being ministered to, joy in abundance, peace that passes understanding, laughter that makes you weep....however this is what I know for sure.  My parents will never retire.  Not from their service to Christ, to one another or to the people most privileged to walk beside them in this life.

You see..their race is not finished.  Until the day Christ calls them home, they will run with abandon, with purpose, with a goal in their mind's eye....for what they do for eternity is what will last.  Imagine the blessing of having them as runners ahead of me, my siblings, and grandchildren...watching their steady race, sometimes stumbling or growing weary, but always looking ahead, never giving up.  Someday handing the torch to us, that the Word would continue to be spoken and used to minister hope to others. 

No question about it.  We've seen the sweat pouring off of them.  We've watched as they've had to rest along the path, recovering from injuries, wounds, stresses, deep heartaches.   Yes, running the race is filled with great joy...but the truth is, no one will ever cross the finish line without the wounds and injuries as reminders that the race was not easy, but ever so worth it. 

Worth it, because I see in their eyes the glimmer of the prize....I know they hear the Savior's call, sometimes a whisper, but always leading them.  Run on, faithful servant!  I am always with you, I will never leave you or forsake you.  I see the cost you have paid to carry this torch, and I am the Great  Rewarder, run on, run on!

My mom and dad's life theme has been Always Living in View of Eternity...seriously, when it's all said and done, what else could be more important than that?

And, one last thing....to my mom who has faithfully loved her Lord and Savior, encouraged, supported, loved, listened to my dad for all these years.  Poured into her family with great joy and a humble servant's heart.  You are the unsung hero.  You are a delightful example of a help meet to your husband.  For every meal you delivered to a family, every word spoken with encouragement, every note of love always signed with a verse, every smile given to ease the pain in someone's heart, your gracious listening ear, every moment of "background" service so that Alive ministries would be organized and well run, every note played on your piano as a sacrifice of  praise to your Lord, finding joy in the moment... God has seen every act of service in His name, God has collected every prayer you have laid before Him, He has called you by name and is delighted in you.  He sings over you with love.  And, I rise and call you blessed indeed.

And, to my dad.  Faithful man of God...who is purposeful in choosing to enjoy life, with laughter and joy. Who I believe has been annointed with a gift of wisdom from the Lord, and has shared that with others over the years, even when it cost him personally to do so.  A faithful husband who truly loves his wife, a dad who loves his children.   Couldn't ask for a better man in leading by example, laughter by the pound, a listening ear, wisdom from the Word, a servant's heart.   

To my precious parents, Run On!....the road ahead is sure to be one of great reward, that is just Who our God is.  And, you better buy a new pair of running shoes, I believe some of the greatest journey lies just ahead, above and beyond all that we could ask or imagine....

with great love, Kendra

light sabers and mighty warriors...

I'm sitting here at my computer listening to screams, high fives, and loads of loud fun as my son celebrates his 8th birthday today.   He got a new NBA basketball game, his favorite sport and is just feeling down right happy!  I just love Levi's laughter, willing to act silly to make others laugh.  I love his strength...enduring sleepless nights of itching some times and still hanging tight.  I am so proud to be this boy's mom. 

Tonight he is blessed to have some of  his longest known and best friends in all of the world, Luke and Gabriel by his side.  As G always reminds him...I've known you my whole life!!  

This year, God has blessed Levi with a new special buddy, Eddie, who he loves to spend time with and sometimes they remind me of 2 peas in a pod!  Surrounded with buddies, what could be better.

Needless to say, after good pizza, too much cake and ice cream, bubble gum sticks, pepsi, and one amazing burping contest, we have had fun.  I think I burped the alphabet to D and then realized that when you eat too much pizza and try to belch, it hurts. 

Have you ever noticed how they love to fight, to wrestle, lead a battle...attack each other with squirt guns, it's just their nature.   I've witnessed many a battle in my days.  Especially with those plastic light sabers that light up and make sound on contact, now that's cool wrapped up for $15!  

So, the verse that came to me was the one in Phillipians 2:14-15...the part that says "shine like the stars, as you hold out the word..."  It reminded me of the light sabers.  The greatest battlers in the kingdom of  Christ are the ones who know the Word, hold it out as a great light in the darkness and use it to do battle.

Ephesians 6 is a great chapter on spiritual warfare. It says we don't wrestle with flesh and blood but against rulers, authorities, against the powers of this dark world, spiritual forces....can't fight them without the Word. You know, the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God.  Like a light saber, only more powerful to do real damage when the enemy comes knocking with his lying schemes to get us down, defeated, feeling unworthy and tempted to give up.  God's word busts through the dark and sets captives free!

Yep, think I'll head out to the campfire and roast some marshmallows, or maybe just watch them melt in the fire.  I will have to unbutton my shorts if I eat any more sugar tonight.  

Plan on reminding these young army men that to be powerful for the Lord, a real man, a mighty warrior...you have to know the Word.  All other weapons mean nothing in the spiritual realm, but having this one in your arsenal can save you, save others, bless you in abundance, and do damage to the enemy's deadly schemes.  who needs a light saber? 

Added note to self:  

Try and do devotional time  earlier in the night, like before all the cake, ice cream and marshmallows. So the boys can listen, focus, get it, you know sit on the couch for longer than 12 seconds without jumping, hitting, laughing or burping!   Oh well, we learn as we go...

My fake pony...(picture shows pony not included!)

So, I felt like I had to write about what happened to me the other day in a restaurant.   No seriously, could go down as being one of my most embarassing moments. 

We went to a nice place after church, to celebrate Ellie's bday.  

Yep, so it all started a few weeks back when I found something at CVS pharmacy that was bound to change my life. A fake pony tail.  On a clip.  To be clipped on to the back of your head, and transform any person from daily to glam in a hot second!  Sure enough, it matched my hair color and I was so happy.  I had recently cut my hair, cute style, but it is such a bummer to try and put it in a pony tail, which is my daily stay at home mom style, only to have it be like 1/2 inch long stub.

So, back to Sunday. I wore my pony to church, just as confident as could be.  Swinging my hair around like I just got off of a photo shoot.  Feeling cute, honestly it boosted my esteem the minute I clipped it in.  Just worshipping the Lord, hands raised with my pony just a swinging around like it was praising too.

Well, at the restaurant we were having a fabulous time chatting, laughing.  I love being with Ritchie and Julie and their kids.  So, after we had all ordered, buffet plates on their way, people all around dressed in their Sunday best....Mariah climbed up on my lap to snuggle.  She had her little hands wrapped around the back of my neck just like a little love bug would.  This is what I can honestly say, what I am about to tell you happened so fast, that it took a minute for it to register in my mind.

She bumped that clip in my hair, and that long and lucious ponytail flew off the back of my head and landed on the floor a few feet from my chair.  No seriously. I grabbed the back of my head and grabbed Julie's arm...."my pony, my pony!!!  get it off the floor.  oh my word, my pony!!"  By this point I am starting to sweat like we were in the Sahara desert and I am quietly yelling at Julie to get it off the floor.  She and Ritchie are bent over the table, weeping with laughter, unable to move or help.  

Had someone gotten up to head to the buffet at that moment, they would have surely screamed, MOUSE!!! if they had seen that blasted brown ponytail laying on the ground.

Oh, just the thought of it....are you tracking with me???  

So, eventually Julie in her gracious way, however slow it might have been, leaned out, snatched that thing off the ground and had the audacity to tell me to lean over so she could clip it back in.  Clip it back in????   Oh, like that wouldn't have been obvious in the middle of a busy restaurant on brunch day!! 

I am sure the waitress was wondering what happened to the glamorous girl at the end of the table, ordering confidently and chatting with abandon.  When she came back to deliver the scrambled eggs, she found a dejected, normal looking housewife, with a ponytail stub at the back of her neck, bobby pins sticking out wildly, and a large brown hairpiece hanging out of the side of her purse.

So, that's the truth of it, and I am not sure I will be able to wear that again.  But maybe I could secure it better, more pins, it is cute, it is a perfect match...well, we'll see about that.  

Watching for weeds

This spring we planted a garden.  I've always wanted to plant one, and it has been amazing to see the plants go from little green sprouts, to blooming flowers and now actual vegetables!

As I was out there hoeing the other day, I was disgusted at the amount of weeds.  Every row was covered in them.  I hadn't been out there in a week or so, and they seemed to just come out of no where.  I stood there, covered in mud, developing a blister, sweating in a way unbecoming to any woman...and this thought occurred to me.  

In my life with Christ, I try to be on purpose about what I plant in my life.  Goodness, patience, joy, kindness, selflessness, His ways over mine....just as I had carefully selected which plants would go in my garden.  And,  I have faithfully watered, fed, and tended to those plants just like I try and be purposeful about tending to the things of God in my life.  Like time in His Word, listening to His Spirit, and sharing my heart with Him.  

However, I did nothing to encourage those weeds to grow!!  Didn't plant their seeds, did not give them fertilizer, wasn't watering them on purpose...yet look how they've taken over!  They are strong little guys with deep roots. One little weed can turn into ground coverage in a hot minute.

So it is with me.  If I am not careful to quickly pull out any small weed that shows its ugly head, it will spread and eventually choke out the good things that I really desire to grow in my life.  A sharp word,  prideful spirit, discontentment, jealous heart....how quickly these can grow and choke out the Spirit and the beautiful harvest that He desires to give me. 

I am getting ready to start a summer Bible study called No other gods.  I know the Lord has much to teach me about the things that I turn to, that fill me up temporarily.  comforts, crutches i lean on, conveniences that i wouldn't want to live without.  

However, when I cling to little gods, holding tight to that which fills for a moment but then quickly runs dry,  I am not making room in my heart for the One God who can fill me so completely, so lavishly, so deeply that I will never thirst again. 

Expecting big things from the One who does abundantly more than what we could ask or imagine.